Back to School

So friends, school starts tomorrow, and I have been having many mixed feelings.  My old therapist taught me that when you feel anxious and overwhelmed it helps to pinpoint the causes for each emotion, so here goes:

Anxiety/Fear:
-I am still missing two of my textbooks which they tried to deliver but I wasn't here to sign for it.  Good thing I'll be in class all day tomorrow... not. Still not sure how I'm going to get those.  I would ask my super, Rocky, to sign for them as he does for a lot of my packages when I'm not there but this has happened so often that he has started joking around about the big Christmas tip he better get, this makes me reluctant...

-NYU is a very high caliber school, full of ridiculously smart people.  What if I can't compete? I got so used to being at the top of every class in undergrad, what if I'm not here? What if everything is beyond my understanding? It will be like TJ all over again.

-I am sick of school.  All of my friends are getting jobs and starting their real lives, I feel like I got left back or something because I am still in school.  I don't want more homework, more studying, and more reading, I just want the degree so I can get the job.  What if I end up not liking it? What if this decision was a huge mistake? What if I get so burnt out on academics I can't continue?

-My schedule is going to be insane. Wake up at 4, work from 5-11am, go to class all day, come home and study, go to bed *hopefully* by 10 or 11, repeat.  What if I can't sustain this?

Excitement:
-I am finally going to be fully immersed in the subject matter that is my passion.  No more general education classes, *hopefully* no more boring classes, etc.

-I am going to be surrounded by the same 25 people in all my classes and they will all care about the same things I do.  We will all have the same interests and passions so I will finally have people that are genuinely interested in hat I want to do for a living (not that the rest of you aren't genuinely interested, but I know past a certain point you get bored of hearing about it)



Now as you can see my anxiety list is way bigger than my excitement list, this could be potentially worrying, or it could just be my usual anxious self.  We'll see what it's like and I will re-evaluate my feelings in a few days